Adding a little color

30 06 2010

I decided that I needed a little more color on this page, so I’m adding a couple more pictures to brighten things up a little bit. I’m 24 1/2 weeks pregnant now so I’m starting to get bigger. I’m not as big as most people yet, but it’ll even out in the end. It seems huge for me though because I’ve always been little. Gaining weight and looking on the scale is sometimes hard because I’ve never weighed this much in my life. I know it’s a good thing and that it’s for my baby but still I’m like Miss Fatty over here haha. I took a belly picture today to put on here and to compare it to the other ones I have taken. I look a little bigger with my bare belly but I wanted to keep it ‘G’ rated on here so I am clothed but you can definitely see my baby bump.

I also had my parenting class at Matrix today. It turned into a talking session instead of watching the movie but talking with Jenny really helped out so that’s good at least. But anyways, I was able to pick out a little sleeper type thing and I found the cutest little animal onesie ever. It looks so tiny but I guess they do come tiny when they are born. Ah! babies are so cute! haha! The onesie is the length of my laptop which you can see in the picture and there are little animals all over it and it’s just sooo cute.

It kinda brightens my day when I bring home something cute from Matrix after my class. So far I’ve brought home a blanket, a quilt, a pair of little blue socks, and this little onesie. I have also been earning and gaining “Matrix Bucks” so I can pick out larger items before my baby is born. Being able to talk about my life and the problems I’m having helps out a lot and I enjoy learning new information so that I know how to take care of myself and my little Junior better.


Depression at its finest

29 06 2010

Today, I have been in a really bad slump and I’m not really sure why. I have just been having some dreams and they make me wish Jon was in my life. Knowing that someone who understands you so well is in your life helps out a lot and when you don’t have that, it hits hard. This past Sunday I went to Fishers and went to the “Freedom Parade” with my aunt and cousins. After the parade I went over to Sarah’s house and hung out with her and Mike. It was good to see some of my friends from Ball State and it was also good to get away. But  a downer of the day was that it was Jon’s 20th birthday and I was 15 minutes away from his house but yet I couldn’t spend any time with him on his birthday. I shouldn’t feel bad about it, but I do because he was able to take me out to dinner on my birthday, but I wasn’t even allowed to see him on his. It really made me sad and upset. When you want to talk to someone and they won’t talk back to you it really hurts, especially when that person promised things to you that they didn’t keep. Somewhere in your heart you find a way to still love them because even though they hurt you, you can’t seem to let them go. This is what I am experiencing and it’s not much fun. I’m pretty much just rambling on, but sometimes venting is the best therapy.

Any who, tomorrow I have another parenting class at Matrix, so I have to get my homework done after I’m done with this. And then on Thursday I have a doctor appointment in the morning where I will find out how much weight I gained and how well Junior is doing! In the evening, I have another parenting class at the Hospital where I’m going to learn all about newborn care. So hopefully that all goes well, but that is about as eventful as my week gets. I am still hoping to get a job but I haven’t had any luck yet, but I’m not giving up because I really need one bad!

And the growing begins

25 06 2010

I found this picture and I can’t stop laughing at how bloated I look. This is me at 19 weeks and it’s before my belly started to get round. I’m “helping” Tom Sawyer white wash the fence. My grandma and I stopped in Hannibal, Missouri, (which is the hometown of Mark Twain) before heading to Lawrence, Kansas for my cousin Joel’s graduation. We were lucky to just escape the rain just as we were getting ready to leave and get back on the road after spending some time in the little town.

Still getting sick..

24 06 2010

Yes, unfortunately I get sick every once in a while and I am not a fan. At least it’s not an all day, every day thing like it use to be. That was terrible. Today pretty much consisted of me being in bed a lot and resting some. I did however do a few things. When I woke up I did read the book “Oh, the Places You’ll Go,” to Junior. For some reason every time I read that book I tear up. I’m not sure if it’s because it’s all true or if it reminds me about growing up and moving on in life. My aunt gave it to me for a graduation gift and I have to say, it makes a good graduation gift. So keep that in mind for the future. While I was reading it, I decided that I’m going to read it frequently to Junior and it will be our special little story together and then he can have the story as he grows up. Hopefully I can refrain from crying when I read it to him!

Other than that, I went to my first Parent Education class at the Kathryn Weil Center. Today’s class was Infant CPR. and even though I’ve been through the class a couple times before, I thought it would be a nice refresher. Although I was the only single parent there, it wasn’t as awkward as I thought it would be. There was another young couple that seemed to be at least a year younger than me so that made me feel a little bit better. After the class I felt like a pig but I went to two fast food places. I got a cherry ICEE at Burger King and a sweet tea and an Oreo McFlurry at McDonalds. Everything was very tasty even though it was extremely unhealthy.

So now I’m at home in the process of reading the last Twilight Saga book, “Breaking Dawn,” and my little guy has been kicking and moving around like crazy. It’s such a weird but awesome feeling, except for when he kicks my bladder. Thank goodness the kicks don’t hurt too much yet, but they will soon, so I better appreciate these lighter kicks.

I’m going crazy..

23 06 2010

It’s official, I’m going crazy. Nothing is going how I want it to go and everyone has been getting on my nerves. I woke up one morning hating the world for no particular reason other than fact that people were being retarded and rude. I am definitely very hormonal and it is bound to only get worse. I think it has been especially hard for me because everything came crashing down on me. First off, finding out I was pregnant and being in bed all spring break was not exactly what I would call a fun time. And second, having to sacrifice some of your dreams because of a bad decision was definitely hard to handle. But then leaving my first year of college and then not hearing from my boyfriend hardly at all, dampened my mood. And to think that things couldn’t get worse and then that’s when my boyfriend and baby daddy decided to break up with me for god knows what reason, yeah that really bites you in the butt. So if you ask me if I’m okay and I say yes don’t really believe that because it’s definitely not true. I have never been so heartbroken or depressed in my entire life. Love seems to be just another word with no true meaning, others wise it might not just leave me there feeling like crap. I’m not quite sure what to feel anymore. And until I figure that out I think I’ll continue to go crazy..which is just what I need..NOT!

To Start Off..

9 06 2010

In this blog I plan to talk about what’s going on in my life and update everyone on my little boy. I don’t know how much time I’ll have to post but I hope I am able to every once in a while because this will be a good way to remember everything especially when I’m starting his baby book. I’m gonna try to put ultrasound pictures up here and other pictures of my growing baby so we’ll see how much I can do with this.